First ultrasound

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So here’s our baby! I was so nervous this morning, so worried there wouldn’t be a heartbeat, but I saw it! As soon as I saw that little flicker, I started crying. We’ve been through so much these past few years. I couldn’t have hoped for this first round to go any better. Who would’ve thought that out of only 2 embryos, one of which didn’t make it until freeze, I would have a baby! Talk about the little embryo that could! 

The baby measured perfectly for 6 weeks, and the heartbeat was 115 bmp, which is perfect! I am officially due on May 13. The number 13 has always been lucky for my husband and I. We got engaged on the 13th, married on the 13th, and now we have a baby due on the 13th! 2013 is our year! 

What a wonderful day it has been!

Double, double, double!

So I got my results from my second beta. My first beta was a 178. Yesterday’s was 438! More than doubled! This is the best news ever, although it really hasn’t sunk in yet. I’ve wanted this for so long, and now that it’s happened, I don’t know how to react. 

I’m nervous and scared, but so so happy! I have my first ultrasound on September 19. I can’t wait to see my little one!

Oh. My. God.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been what I’ve called “cautiously pessimistic.” I kept telling myself that if I convinced myself I wasn’t pregnant, that it wouldn’t hurt to badly if I got a BFN. I had a dream last night that I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive. I woke up feeling pretty good!

As I walked into the room to get my blood drawn, the phlebotomist had the radio on. The tail end of Huey Lewis and the News’ “The Power of Love” was on. It made me smile, because I’ve always loved that song. It was immediately followed by a song by Michael Buble. One of his songs was our wedding song, so I started to think, “this is a sign!”

When I got home, I was still convinced that I wasn’t pregnant. So I went to the mall with my friend to keep my mind off the impending doom that was the call from the doctor. As I perused a rack of clothing, my phone rang. My heart jumped into my throat. I scooted over to a corner to be alone, and answered. 

The doctor told me she had good news! I immediately told her to shut up! It was a gut reaction! She told me I am definitely pregnant, but I can’t remember what she said my HGC was. I felt like I was having a stroke! I have go back Wednesday for more bloodwork. 

I am so incredibly excited! Who would’ve thought that out of my two embryos that were fertilized, and one implanted, I would be so lucky! I feel blessed and excited, but still nervous that something could go wrong. Right now, I’m basking in the glory that is being pregnant after 2 and a half years of trying and tears. Life is good!

4dp3dt

I’m s still a week away from my BETA and I’m going stir crazy! Every little twinge is being over analyzed. I’ve been having mild cramping, kind of like before I used to get my period. But I’ve been on the web, and a lot of people said they had something similar before having a positive BETA. My boobs have been pretty sore, too. But I think that may just be a side effect of the progesterone and estrogen I’ve been taking. 

I don’t know how people wait 2 weeks. At least I’m going back to work tomorrow, so that should make the next 3 frays go by a bit quicker. After that, all bets are off.  I’m a little sad that Labor Day is coming up. and I’ll be spending it symptom spotting. Only time will tell, I suppose.

Transfer

I had my transfer today! Both embryos survived and were high grade. I need to learn to have a little faith sometimes. It’s just hard when you’ve dealt with so many disappointments. The procedure wasn’t awful. They had to switch speculums because my uterus is tilted apparently. That was pretty uncomfortable, but worth it I suppose. 

They sent me home with a nice little picture of my embryo actually in my uterus. I’m officially pregnant for the first time ever! Well, for the time being anyway. 

This next week and a half will be torture. I promised myself and my husband that I wouldn’t take a home pregnancy test. I’ve never been one for surprises, so I’m going to have to try extra hard!

I could use any good thoughts and prayers as possible. I just hope and hope this works! And that my other embryo goes to freeze so we won’t have to do the shots over! Wish me luck!

Pessimism rares its ugly head

I got a call from the lab this morning. Out of my 4 eggs, only 2 fertilized. The other two were not fully developed, so they wouldn’t have implanted anyway. 

I know it only takes one egg, but I’m not feeling so positive about this outcome. I just hope both eggs make it to Thursday, and are high quality. 

I’ve been contemplating talking to the husband about maybe transferring both embryos, but I really don’t think he will be down for that. 

I can’t help but think all of this feeling sick and being miserable will be for nothing. I also know this is just our first try, so I shouldn’t beat myself up so much. I guess I’m just having an off day. I’ll blame it on the hormones. 

Physically, I’m feeling pretty good. I’m not in any pain, but I am spotting still, which is annoying. I’ll take that over that awful cramping I had right after the retrieval yesterday for sure. 

Retrieval

Today was my retrieval day. I was scheduled to be there for 10:15, and the procedure was set for 11:15. True to form, I was 5 minutes early. I’m way too punctual for my own good. They had 7 retrievals today, so they told me they were running a little behind. We waited in the waiting room for an hour. It definitely did not help my anxiety. 

The procedure itself was ok. I remember them putting a mask over my face, and my legs in the stirrups. That’s it. I woke up being all silly and asking my husband repeatedly how his “procedure” went. I’m obnoxious, haha. 

Then the tech from the lab came in. We only got 4 eggs, which is way less than I hoped for. I know it only takes one, but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. So it’s looking like it will most likely be a day 3 transfer, which also isn’t ideal. I know people get pregnant from a day 3 transfer, but I’m just not feeling optimistic right now. 

I’m laying in bed relaxing, trying to keep my mind off everything, but that’s near impossible. I’m just hoping for good news tomorrow that all 4 fertilized. 

It just got real

I went for another ultrasound and blood work this morning. I have about 6 eggs that look good to go, with another 6 that may mature over the next day or so.

It’s looking like we will be taking the trigger shot tonight, with a retrieval on Monday. I’m officially starting to get nervous. I just hope all goes according to plan. 

At least this is all taken care of before school starts on Tuesday. I will have a transfer on Thursday or (hopefully) Saturday. 

Please send good vibes that we get as many good eggs as we can! I will keep you updated!

Update: Levels

I went for blood work yesterday. Every time I go into the office, I get so nervous. I guess I figure if I expect the worst, then maybe it won’t hurt so bad if it doesn’t work. 

Anyway, they checked my estradiol levels, which for day 3 of Stims should have been between 100-200. Mine was a 185, so that’s perfect! 

The nurse said I need to come in on Saturday for another ultrasound to see how things are looking. She suspects I will only need to be on Stims for another couple days after that. It’s looking like we will do the retrieval around Wednesday. That’s pretty perfect timing, as I go back to school the following Tuesday. 

I’ve been a little short tempered the last couple of days, so I can’t wait to be off all of these hormones! Then maybe the hubby won’t be walking on eggshells all the time!

Well, that was weird

I just got back from bloodwork to check my estradiol. They had to work the needle around in my arm a bit to get blood, so that was a little uncomfortable. When I went upstairs to get my paperwork, I happened to glance over to my right. And that’s when I saw a familiar face. It was a woman who I used to work with, sitting there with her husband. And we both knew why we were both in this office. It was uncomfortable and almost embarrassing. I don’t know why I felt embarrassed, but I did. I know we are going through the same thing, but that’s still how I felt. We exchanged those “I know” looks, and I left. 

Hopefully the doctor calls back with good news, that my levels all look good. I’m hoping for a transfer early next week. We will see!